Saturday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Saturdays: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

To be "pure in heart" is to have the character do what's right when your supposed to. What is right for a mustard plant to do? Produce fruit - mustard seeds. Once the plant produces fruit, the whole cycle starts again, and you continue to see God work.

God looks at me and says "You need to be pure in heart - it's what you were made for. You need to take and maintain responsibility in the areas you influence my creation. Use your energy and make things wonderful. When you do, you get to see me at work."  

King David said: Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god. They will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God their Savior.

Paul said: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.

I think God looked at the earth on the sixth day of creation and said, "I will put people made in my image here, and I'll give them responsibility to take care of this place. They will work and create and be happy, and live with me." 

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God, beyond my own life - the good and the bad - there is a whole world out there. You made every person in hopes they would be like you and to see you. Reach out to all the people on earth and bless them.

Friday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Fridays: Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

As the small plant starts to grow, it's fully dependent on the environment. It's "at the mercy" of the sun, rain and soil to survive. Once the plant grows to the point of producing fruit, it in turn shows mercy to others.

God looks at me and says " I want you to come to me regardless of your failings. You need my mercy to survive. I show my mercy through people like you. You must join in to make all of this work."

Jesus said: It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.

James wrote: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Jesus also said: Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

I think God looked at the earth on the fifth day of creation and said, "I'm going to give you creatures that will not work and show my mercy - the birds and sea animals." 

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God, bless all those people around me that don't know you and are searching. Help me to be part of the goodness you want to give them.

Thursday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Thursdays: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Once the seed germinates, it starts to grow. It gets "hungry" to be filled with what's good for it - water, light, nutrients. Once it sprouts, I can get optimistic about its future. It's not going to stay in the ground dead, but it will live and grow.

King David said: Taste and see that the Lord is good;blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

I think God looks at me and says "I know you're hungry, and I know you want to be filled with good. I'm going to do that, one day at a time, to the extent you can accept it."

I think God looked at the sky on the fourth day of creation and said "you are empty and need to be filled," and put the sun, moon and stars there.

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God, please bless all those people I know who also know you. Give them the opportunity to do good, see good be done, and experience good being done for them. Fill up their lives.

Wednesday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Wednesdays: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Initially the seed sits in the ground, powerless to do anything but wait. It's waiting for the environment to support it with the soil, heat, light and water. It will come to "inherit the earth", sprout and grow.

God looks at me and says "Just wait, and don't give up. You will start to grow and good will come of it."

King David said: I remain confident of this:I will see the goodness of the Lord    in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

James said: Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.

I think God looked at the earth on the third day of creation and said "I've created the land, and filled it with plants that will grow and reproduce. This will provide for the beings I'll put there."

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God, in the midst of grief, I look forward to the future and the good you will do. You are in charge and I'm not. It's hard to for me to wait for good to come - help me to be patient.

God, my biggest hope is that ultimately encouragement and blessing will come to the people we know because of my son's life. I hope that no one rejects or distances themselves from You because of this.

Tuesday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Tuesdays: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

This is the hard part of the process - being planted. The little seed is put into the ground. It becomes separated and alone. It has to "die".

No death, then no life.

Jesus said: Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

King David said: Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.


God looks as me in this state and says, "You're blessed. You're lucky. You're experiencing loss and pain, but comfort will come." 

I think God looked at the earth on the second day of creation and said "I have pulled you apart, but it will be good in time."

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God, I'm mourning huge loss - part of me has died. I don't want to be destroyed by this. I don't want my family, my world to be destroyed - and it feels like that could happen. I feel like I have fallen to the ground and I'm buried.

God you have sent so many people to me, to us, to give comfort. I know you want us to have faith in you and our future. I believe you will take a bad situation and turn it for good. Please see us through.

God, forgive the sins of my family - me, my wife and my kids. Be near us.

Monday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Mondays: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

That single seed  in it's present state is not 100% worthless, but pretty close. It can't do anything until someone comes along to plant it. I guess you could eat it - not much food or flavor there.

God has looked at me and seen me this way, but he says to me "You're blessed. You're lucky. Regardless of your current state, you have a future."

I think God looked at the earth on the first day of creation and said, "you're formless and void, but you have a future."

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God, these last four weeks have been the hardest of my life. In some ways, it feels like years since Caleb died. In other ways it seems like hours. Time is all screwed up for me right now - it's hard to keep my bearings straight.

God, forgive me for all I've done wrong and for everything I've missed. I need you.

Peacemaker Steve

On Sundays I meditate on this saying of Jesus: Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.   

Here is Steve, one of my buddies and a man I really respect. I got to sit in on Steve's small group of 4th graders at church this morning.

Steve is holding a rubber snake and a sledgehammer. He smashed the snake's head flat - which of course the kids loved. Me too. 

What's he trying to teach?

After the serpent deceived Adam and Eve, and they ate the fruit they weren't supposed to, God said: Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust  all the days of your life. and I will put enmity  between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.

Sounds cryptic.

The main point: the offspring (Jesus) will crush the serpent (Satan) at some point in the future. Steve explained that this is the reason Jesus came to earth - to set in motion the end of evil, where only goodness will remain, and we will be with God.

Paul encouraged the early followers of Jesus with this same idea: The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.

Obviously God doesn't see "soon" the same way I do. None the less, He will ultimately get rid of evil and we will live in peace with Him.

Do I believe all this is true, and it's not just a myth? I'd be crazy not to. Every time I read the bible and put what it says into practice, my life gets better.

Do I understand why it all has to be this way, why evil needs to be here now? Not really - but I'm trying to.

Why does Steve spend his time teaching kids this stuff? Because he's a peacemaker. He wants to see these kids have the chance to get connected to God. I've known him a long time - and I know he genuinely loves them.

Blessed is Steve Irvine, for he will be called a child of God.

Filled with Right

Thursday has become the day I look forward to in my weekly prayer routine. I move from three days of considering the gap between God's greatness and my lack of it, to three days of focusing on being made in the image of God and how He helps me express it.

The first part of the week is in the darkness, and the last part is in the light. On the first six days of creation, God says: there was evening, and there was morning. I think I need both in my life to understand Him. I need to be both hungry and to be filled.

The 4th blessing by Jesus: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 

I want to be filled with the right stuff - but I don't often know what the right stuff is. Jesus talked about this: 

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable:“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee (good guy) and the other a tax collector (bad guy). 

The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

It's easy for me to start thinking I know all about right and wrong. I know some things about it, but  I often get judgmental and miss the whole point.

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God, I'm missing a lot of good things inside. I want to be filled with things that are truly right - not religious nonsense, self promotion or judgement on others. I'm looking forward to you helping me with it.

Am I Obedient?

Book of Genesis: through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.

Book of Exodus: Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.

Book of Joshua: Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.

Book of 1 Kings: And may your hearts be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands.

Book of Job: If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.

Book of Psalms: I will always obey your law, for ever and ever.

Book of Luke:  As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.” He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”

Book of John: Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them."

Book of Romans: For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.

Book of 1 John: Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them.

All of this in light of God's grace:

Book of Ephesians: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.

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It's a hard question to ask myself: Am I obedient to God? I'm not talking about just some of the things I do or don't do. Am I living the life He designed for me? I really can't answer this question with any certainty right now. I do intend to find out... 

God, please forgive me for all I've done wrong. Forgive my wife and kids for all they have done wrong. Take away the resulting burdens we carry. Come close to us, even if we are far off.

Where am I God?

Job - a person who God said was good in everything he did - gets everything taken away: health, family, possessions, position. After sitting silent for a week, Job starts to talk about his pain. He comes to the point where he basically asks "God, where are you? I can't find you."

Job said: But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.

After a lot of discussion between Job and his friends, God finally speaks out of a storm.

He said: Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone— while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?

After Job had lost everything and suffered so much, why does God start out by essentially yelling at him? I think its matter of Job's attitude. God is saying "I have always been in the right where I belong, where are you?" 

This goes back to the first "where are you?" in the Bible.

In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve fail, then they go into hiding. God comes near to them as asks, "Where are you?" I think the implication is clear.

So today, on a Monday, when I consider: Blessed are the poor in spirit,  for theirs is the kingdom of heaven, I need to ask "God, where am I? Help me find the right place to be." No matter what has happened to me, God is solid and not moving, and I need to get my bearings from him.

God is not just an angry, demanding deity. He does want me to "get it", but He's also there for me, wanting to help. Jesus said: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Sunday - Loss

It's Sunday, and I normally try to focus on peace with God.

Today, I'm feeling an overriding sense of loss and regret over my son, Caleb. I wish I could rise above it, but I don't think that's going to happen right now.

I know God is in control. I don't like everything He allows to happen - but where else can I go? He holds my life and all the lives of the people I know in His hands. I know He cares and grieves with me. I wish I understood all of this - I wish He would make it more clear. Right now, all I understand is sadness.

From Psalm 34: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. This is me.

I miss you.

Closing the Gap with Mercy and Forgiveness

On Fridays, I consider the fifth Beatitude and fifth Statement in the Lord's Prayer:
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

These two statements by Jesus are really similar: Those that receive mercy and forgiveness also give it. In both passages, these are the only points where Jesus states "you will get the same thing you give". Or maybe he meant "you will give that same thing you get". Or maybe both.

What are mercy and forgiveness all about? Connecting to God and others - closing the gaps between us.

There are gaps in all my relationships - some big, some small. Some come from me doing something wrong, or not doing what I should. Some come from other people's failures. Some come from misunderstanding, even when no one did anything wrong. Some just come from lack of attention over time.

What if I always wait for others to approach me to fix things? Where will I end up?

What if everyone waited to be approached? Obviously, nothing would ever get resolved. We would all be waiting for the other guy to show up and either ask for forgiveness or show us mercy. The longer we waited, the worse things would get. Eventually we would all live in our own private, insulated versions of hell.

For mercy and forgiveness to work, I have to take the initiative. I have to go to people who feel I've done something wrong and ask for forgiveness. I have to go to people I think have done something wrong to me with an attitude of mercy. I guess we all should take the initiative, but I can only focus on and control me. 

So if you read this, pray for me to strive to close the gaps. I want to be part of an open, connected version of heaven here on earth.

Today

All I have is Today.

On Thursdays, I think about the fourth statement of the Lord's prayer: Give us today our daily bread. Jesus taught us to ask God for what we need for today only, not for what we need in the future. In the same sermon, Jesus explicitly said: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

On the fourth day of creation, God creates the "today" that we are supposed to live in: And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” 

So God created this time period called "today" and asks us to focus on it - and that's enough. 

The writer of Hebrews states: See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. Worrying about the future only leads me down the wrong path (sin) and I end up missing the greatness that God is offering me today.

Paul wrote: In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. There are things that must be done today to stay on the right path.

Today is this little slice of eternity we get to experience now. At the renewal of all things, God takes away the sun and moon and makes it a continuous "today" - see the end of of the book of Revelation for the story. I don't understand how this works, but it makes some sense to me.

It's hard for me to only focus on today. It's easy for me to get eaten up with worry about what might come and avoid what must be done. In my experience, this has only derailed me from living the way I want to. This  isn't only a "Christian" idea - it permeates humanity. Some examples:

• You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this. - Henry David Thoreau 
• Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha 
•  Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. - Marcus Aurelius Antonin

I've Seen God

On Saturdays, I consider the 6th Beatitude: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

I'm in no way implying that I'm pure in heart. But my wife, Becky and I discussed all the occurred this past week - and we feel like we have done what God has asked of us. So for one week out of 2,600, I think I did all that I was supposed to do (I could easily be wrong).

But we did get to see God...

Paul said: Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

He also said: If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Over the past week and a half we have had so many people reach out to help us. They have comforted us, brought us food, prayed with us, called to see how we are doing, offered to run errands, flew to meet our daughter, and just about anything else you can imagine. God didn't show up like lightning out of the clouds, He showed up in His people. We have experienced so much goodness - I don't know how I'm ever going to express appreciation to everyone. 

Also on Saturdays, I consider the part of the creation story where God created us: So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

From this, I believe that when we see people doing good, we see an image of God.

God's will be done

I was thinking a lot today about "God's will be done" (my thoughts on Wednesdays)

In light of what I have been through in the past week, this can seem pretty harsh: God will do what he is going to do, regardless of what we want - just suck it up. Your son is gone, accept it. 

True, God is in charge, but the concept goes way beyond this simple idea. God has the power and influence to do anything He wants, how He wants, and when He wants - but shares some of it with us.

In the creation story, on the third day, He sets the boundaries of the land, making the earth habitable for us. Similarly, for the the third beatitude Jesus teaches "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." What does all this mean to me? I think God has his agenda, but also wants us to be partners in it, with our own influence. He owns the space, and we can do something with it.

So, what can we do? We can put our "stamp" on the tragedy. We can reach out, be transparent, care about others - maybe with eternal influence (By the way, I'm not sure how all this works). I truly believe if we are willing to step up, we can have a hand in making good out of bad. 

Why didn't He use his power to avert this? When I find out, I'll let you know. He didn't stop Cain killing Abel (get rid of the good one, leave the bad one - not the way I would do it), or David killing Uriah, or people killing Jesus, or Adam and Eve eating the fruit, or Israel botching it up lots of times. I don't have the answers on this - just observations: in each case He helped make good out of bad. 

As I'm writing this, the fact that Jesus was raised on the third day comes to mind. God's power over death was demonstrated, so we can inherit eternal life. There are so much alignment in the bible, it gets hard to take it all in.

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As I got home today, the clouds moved away and I got to look at Mt. Hood for a few minutes before dark. This was one of my favorite places to be with my son.

Pain and Hope

I lost my son this week. I found out he died on Tuesday, November 6. It's indescribable pain - I won't even try to deal with it here, it would do it no justice.

But I have hope for many reasons. Just one of those reasons is the post I wrote a couple of weeks ago on October 23 about my spiritual practice on Tuesdays. I reread it this morning and realized it was God's spirit writing a note to me in my own hand, which is really hard to fathom. Why would He do this? Because He loves me, my son and my family. 

Click the link to go to it.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Desire and Rule

I'm continually drawn back to read the creation account and other stories in the first part of Genesis. I think all the main themes of the entire Bible are found in the first few chapters. 

I noticed a really interesting repetition between the stories of The Fall and Cain killing Abel.

Once Adam and Eve failed by eating the fruit that gave knowledge, God said to Eve: “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;with painful labor you will give birth to children.Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” 

Using the same words, God warns Cain to change his bad attitude. He said:“Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

In both cases, there is the "desire and rule" relationship.

In the first case, I think this signifies the power struggle that will go on in a marriage. The two will be together, but each will try to exert their control over the other. Rather than a natural tendency to cooperate, there will be some level of struggle. Just look around, and it's pretty easy to see this going on.

What I find interesting is the second case. Basically, God is saying to Cain, "If you don't change, you and sin will have a marriage relationship, with the accompanying struggle. You must live with it, and you have to exert your will over it." Cain ended up killing his brother - so he decided to get married to sin.

I think God is indicating that some sin is a one-way trip. If we go down certain roads, we can't come back the same. After Cain kills Abel, God tries to start a dialog with him, but Cain will have nothing to do with it - he has chosen his path. This is hugely negative outcome with no "happy ending", and serves as a warning.

On the positive side, I think God wants a "desire and rule" relationship with us: our desire is to be for Him, and He is to rule over us. This is what we were made for...

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.