Encouragement

Beyond the question of "Do I have courage?" is an even more important one: "How can I help build courage in others?" I'm discovering that ultimately, all the important questions regarding Christianity are not inwardly focused, but outward.

What has given me the most encouragement? People listening to me, wanting to understand me. This comes from someone who is naturally a terrible listener.

When people have given me advice or input, it's only been encouraging when it's come out of listening first. To be clear, I appreciate all the effort people have put out for me, whether it's built me up or not. I'm humbled by the good intentions of others. I writing about this in an effort to understand how I can do my best.

David wrote: You, Lord, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry - then God takes action to defend people in need.

This is what I will strive for: to listen, to understand - and then take action to help.

All these things: listening, understanding, kindness, compassion, patience are not my strengths, as I have posted earlier. They are like a tools in my hands I'm not familiar with - I'm clumsy with then and prone to use them poorly. I have to work with them, learn about them, practice using them.

I like what's written in the book of Hebrews: God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. 

God, help me to listen. Help me to be diligent in turning away from myself so I can understand and encourage others.

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Fridays | My relationships are good, and God will build them up
- Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy
- And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors

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Courage - My Wife Becky

King Solomon wrote: A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

In the midst of pain and fear, my wife Becky keeps me and our family going. She would sacrifice anything to make the load for the rest of us easier. She is the most selfless person I know. Her unwavering courage has given me strength and a few times put me to shame.

As we all mourn, she works to bring us comfort. She works to reduce the chaos in our lives and bring peace to our home. Her faith is alive - as James wrote: As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

I see that courage is not an attitude or feeling - it's hard work. Her load has been heavy, and I hope it lightens as time goes on, God willing. I will do everything I can to make it so.

God, thank you so much for Becky, her work, her faith, her courage.

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Tuesdays | My relationships are in chaos, and God wants to change them
- Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted
- Your kingdom come

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Courage & Fear

I have been thinking a lot about courage lately. 

Over the past 6 months, I have waves of fear and anxiety that come over me every few days. They last anywhere from a few minutes to hours. It's a sense of dread, failure, guilt and loss of control that floods my mind. It makes me feel nervous and tired. I hate it.

I talk to God about it a lot. I don't anticipate he will take it away - I don't think he works that way. I think he expects me to deal with it, act like a man, and keep going. The pattern in the bible for growth is to face fear, not lose heart and wait for God to do good.

If I give in to this fear, what will happen? I think I will turn inward to focus on myself - my own pain, sadness and sense of loss. I will become useless to my family and friends. I will suck up their energy with my self-absorption. 

St. Augustine coined the phrase "Incurvatus in se", which means "man turned in on himself" as the definition of sin and failure. I can see how this could happen to me. So I'm figuring out how to live with it and still move forward each day. I will not let it control me, God willing.

I like what Paul wrote: Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. For me, it's exactly to the point.

God, help me to overcome my fear and have courage. I want to turn outward to you and others in the midst of all this.

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Mondays | My heart is in chaos, and God wants to change it
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God
- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

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