Doing What God Wants

Pay attention to the people God puts in your path if you want to discern what God is up to in your life.
- Henri Nouwen

Sometimes I think I know what God wants, other times I'm not so sure - and sometimes he writes it on the side of a bus and runs me over with it...

I got an email from someone yesterday. He said he needed my help - one of his employees had a son that died of suicide a month ago, and the man was having a very difficult time (who wouldn't?). He asked me if I would meet with the man to talk. I said I would.

I met with the unfortunate man today during lunch - and I saw myself two years ago: totally blindsided, in a dense fog, terrified of what will happen next. Every word, every thought, the smallest interaction hurts beyond description. Can't sleep and always tired. Immensely concerned for his wife and kids. Wanting to do something that makes sense. Not attempting to avoid the pain. He has entered hell, and there is no getting out of it any time soon.

Our sons both died on the same date - Nov 6. Go figure.

After we talked, I came home, sat on the couch and stared into space for a couple of hours. I cried for him, for me, for our sons, for the whole mess. I had entered back into my own fog for a while - its like a flashback. It wears me out.

After just meeting, I hope we become friends. I think it would be good for both of us.

One of the hardest parts of grief is the loneliness you feel most of the time. It won't be very long before most people will just look down at their feet when he mentions that his son died. They will think that they don't know what to say, so best just to stay quiet. What a terrible thing to think and do - to take an opportunity to connect, to build someone up, and instead leave someone feeling more isolated. I did that until two years ago.

When he tells me about pain and death, I will look him in the eye and ask him to tell me more. For just a short time, I will reenter the fog and maybe relieve his loneliness. I can't fix any of his problems - I don't expect him to want that. I can only suffer a little while with him. I can listen and let him know I care.

For me, maybe I can add some meaning to my own loss. Maybe I can do him good by just being around and talking once a week. I honestly want my grief to count for something - to hopefully make a difference in someone else's life. I've spent too much of my life being greedy with my spirit, not realizing it can't grow while I protect it.

So I think in this small area, I'm doing what God wants.

About three thousand years ago, the prophet Micah wrote: The Lord has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

I'm not very good at any of these. God help me.

---

Wednesdays | God is in control – My influence is weak 

- Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven- 
- Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth

---

Psalm 23 - Wednesday

Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

The images in the first three statements of this psalm are of me being a sheep and God being a shepherd.
   - It’s a picture of me being weak and vulnerable
   - It’s a picture of him having control over where I go and protecting me.

This gives me comfort: it’s not about where I’m at – good or bad, it about who is with me, protecting me, reminding me I will make it.

It’s very easy for me to pick and choose things out of the bible, in hopes to get the message I want to hear. Here is where God tells Jeremiah that he has a future for him:

This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

God says that when you come out of pain, loss, captivity – not that these won’t happen – I will bring you back and give you a future. Simply put: you will come out of powerlessness and inherit the earth I have planned for you.

---

Wednesdays | God is in control – My influence is weak

- Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven

- Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth

---

The Fall - Wednesday

The third test:

The serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

The interesting thing about this part of the deception is that it is literally true. The lie is the implication that good will come of disobedience, not bad.

Jesus said in the third Beatitude: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth

I think this Beatitude clearly portrays God's intention in this situation: "I have given you the power to disobey, don't use it. Do as I say, and you will inherit everything that's good in time."

Satan is saying: Cursed are the willingly obedient, they lose out.

Some interesting correlations (at least to me):

• The third thing Jesus tells us to pray is to have God's will done on earth - in other words, to obey what he's told us.
• The third day of creation is where God divides the land and sea. Later in the bible God tells Job, that he set limits for the sea and told it to obey: "here is where your proud waves halt".
• In the third temptation of Jesus, Satan offers him all the kingdoms of the earth “if you will bow down and worship me.” - to throw off obedience to God.
• The third thing Jesus says to Paul in his conversion is to get up off the ground and obey. At that point, Paul's eyes are "closed", where in this story, Adam and Eve's eyes are "opened". Too many correlations to consider at once...

At the heart of this, I think God is saying to me, "You need to obey me willingly. You have the power to disobey - don't use it - set it aside."

Here is my struggle: I often knowingly do wrong, thinking it's a shortcut to get what I think is "good". One of the worst areas has been me pushing my agenda on others, especially Becky and the kids - God forgive me.

---

Wednesdays | My influence is in chaos, and God wants to set things right
- Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth
- Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven

---

Revelation - Letter Three

This letter is about power and influence.

The third Beatitude: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

The third letter in Revelation:

To the angel of the church in Pergamum write: 

These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. I know where you live—where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, not even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city—where Satan lives.

Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: There are some among you who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin so that they ate food sacrificed to idols and committed sexual immorality. Likewise, you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.

This letter is to people who are living in the seat of evil power, and they are still remaining faithful. Even under threat, they hang in there.

Jesus warns some among them to stop using what influence they do have to do harm - or he will come do harm to them. Speech is a weapon - for good or for bad.

I get this image of a group of people: some of them bearing up under oppression - looking to God for significance; some who try to have power over others, even in a small way, to feel significant.

The theme of words as a weapon is throughout the bible...

From the book of Hebrews: For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 

From the book of Hebrews: Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

From King David: Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from the plots of evildoers. They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent; they shoot suddenly, without fear.

So God asks me to choose the path of meekness. Not matter what others may do to me, it stays with me. I need to absorb it, stay true to me beliefs, and never take it out on anyone else. 

God, forgive me - as much as I don't want to - when I'm under pressure, I sometimes take things out on others. Help me to keep silent.

---

Wednesdays | My influence is in chaos, and God wants to set things right
- Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth
- Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven

---

Romans 12 - Wednesday

Paul wrote:

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

To summarize: Be diligent and do good with what God has given you.

God gives each of us some measure of power. We can make money, create things, influence others, figure things out.

I see this mysterious way God works (I think):
     - God gave me power and influence to use for good.
     - God planned out what good I might do - he creates the opportunity.
     - I get the choice of how I use it.
     - God's plan - the ultimate outcomes he is looking for - will succeed no matter how I choose.

So what's the point?

The point is simple in my mind: I love to work, to create, to influence. I was made for it. God offers me the chance to use it all for good, so I can be like him.

When the kids were little, I would mow the lawn. I bought Josh a toy lawn mower. His effort did not change the outcome - but his involvement was so valuable to me. I still remember the smile on his face as he mowed too. We both experienced happiness from it.

This is a simplistic way to see life, and I know there are many more aspects to consider. But for now, I will think about what Paul also wrote: For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

---

Wednesdays | My influence is in chaos, and God wants to set things right
- Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth
- Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven

---

Nature of Jesus - Wednesday

Why did Jesus go to all the trouble of leaving his place of ruling the universe, become human, be rejected, and end up being killed? 

Because it was worth it.

John wrote: Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

He came so I - and everyone who is willing - could be part of his family.

Paul wrote to the Philippians: Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Jesus is the head of the family, the owner of the universe. 

I want to be in that family, but I have nothing to bargain with. My only hope is to be rescued - I don't have the capability or resources to join on my own.

Following up on my reference yesterday to what Paul wrote to the Romans: What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So what does God require for me to gain eternity? The desire to be with him, and the belief he will accept me. 

God, I'm glad you have the ability to set things right - because I sure don't.

---

Wednesdays | My influence is in chaos, and God wants to set things right
- Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth
- Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven

---

Noah - Meekness

Noah endured unceasing rain for 40 days, and was on the boat for 150 days. During that time, he was powerless to do anything but wait and trust God would take care of him.

But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded. Now the springs of the deep and the floodgates of the heavens had been closed, and the rain had stopped falling from the sky. The water receded steadily from the earth. At the end of the hundred and fifty days the water had gone down, and on the seventeenth day of the seventh month the ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat. The waters continued to recede until the tenth month, and on the first day of the tenth month the tops of the mountains became visible.

Noah was meek and powerless - and he literally ended up inheriting the earth.

I think Noah was in a time of testing. It seems to be that period where God says "I will be unseen and you will wait for me, and obey me. I will see how you come through." In some stories, people fail, in other stories they succeed - and I think Noah succeeded here.

Now I think about it, Noah is almost the exact opposite of Jonah, at least up to this point. Same overall pattern in the stories, very different hearts in these two men.

I have a lot of trouble with waiting to see what God is going to do. I hate waiting for "the water to recede." Being powerless to have any effect is very difficult for me to accept. I really think I'm at that stage in my life right now.

God, I hope I do well with this test. I know whether I do or I don't, you will be there to teach me more about who I am, and what I'm made of.

---

Wednesdays | Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

---

Miracles - Meekness

The third miracle John wrote about was a lame man laying near a pool, which corresponds to the third beatitude recorded by Matthew:

Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie - the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked...

... Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well.

This is an interesting story. From what I have read, every so often an angel would "stir the water" and whoever was the first in the pool would get cured. Sounds kind of wild - like a biblical game show - I'll leave that alone for now.

The man in this story is the picture of powerlessness. He can't walk in a city that's on a hill - there are stone stairs everywhere. He has no friends that will help him in the water. When Jesus asks him if he wants to get well, he can't even say "yes", instead he complains about his situation.

Jesus speaks to him twice.

The first time he heals his body, so he can walk. Jesus doesn't ask him any probing questions or make obscure statements. He doesn't even wait for the "yes", he just does it. The man is now mobile - he has gained access to the city he's never been able to walk through. He inherits a little bit of the earth.

The second time Jesus focuses on his soul. Even a lame person should have friends and be able to interact. I think Jesus is getting at this greater issue. This man needs to change his heart, or he will miss the whole point of his pain and healing.

God, there are areas in my life where I seem powerless to change - mainly my ego. I'm lame, locked into a single position, only able to complain about it. Like this guy, I guess I wait for an angel to come and zap me with the solution. I need to be healed, then get up and walk. Come and heal me.

---

Wednesdays | Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

---

Jonah - Powerless

Instead of dying as he intended, Jonah is trapped inside a giant fish for three days, powerless to do anything. He finally calls out to God to be saved.

From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said:

In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry. You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me...

... Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them. But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’

And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

I like the literalness of Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth in this story. Jonah cries out to God in his powerless state and he gets put on to dry earth.

The most interesting thing to me is that he ends up praising God. Initially, he ran away and tried to kill himself to avoid God. Then he sits in fish for three days not talking to God. Finally, he reached out to God, he shifts from asking for help to talking about how great God is.

I think this is why God inflicts and allows pain in my life: so I come to my senses. This is not God pushing me so I say good things about him. This is me responding to the understanding that I have a connection to the creator of everything.

Paul wrote: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

God, these days I have often felt like I'm trapped. I don't know how to fix things, or make them easier for my family. I see myself, my wife, and my kids struggling with loss - I can't make it go away.

God, I have called on you and you have heard my cry for help. You have strengthened me and given me hope. My salvation can only come from you.

---

Wednesdays | Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

---

Wednesday - God's Will

On Wednesday - the third statement of the Lord's Prayer: Your will be done.

Sometimes it's hard to know what God's will is.

I think I know many of the daily things I need to do: love God, love others, be compassionate, be faithful, don't get wrapped up in all the stuff the world has to offer.

I also think I know some of the bigger picture: Eventually all this will come to an end, Jesus will return to gather all those who belong to him, we will be a family with God for eternity.

It's the things in between those two that are hard to fathom at times. What does God want me to do? What does he want for my family? I honestly don't know any of the specifics, but I do know he wants us to be productive and grow.

I really like this parable...

Jesus taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.”

Jesus goes on to explain it:

Then Jesus said to them, “Don’t you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? The farmer sows the word. Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times what was sown.”

God, help me to clearly hear what you have to say in your word and accept it. I want to be productive.

Jesus - Refugee

This week I'm thinking about some aspects of Jesus' life...

Wednesday: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Mathew wrote: When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.” So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Out of Egypt I called my son.”

It’s kind of crazy to think that the God who created the earth was a refugee, escaping through the desert to survive.

Mathew wrote: After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, “Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child’s life are dead.” So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel.

I see Mary, Joseph and Jesus being meek in two ways:

They were poor, powerless people (in human terms) with the king looking to kill them. They had to leave the country just to survive.

They obediently did what God asked them to do – they let Him be in charge.

The first three beatitudes are about God blessing us in the midst of chaos: spiritually poor, mourning, and without power. I think Jesus was born into that chaos as part of God’s plan. Why?

Paul wrote: In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross!

---

God, thank you for entering the world to connect with me and save me. Bless all the people I know who have connected with you - help them to show others who you are.

House of Cards

C.S. Lewis: “God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.” -  A Grief Observed

I’m discovering who God is, at least in a small way: He demands my honesty – and he doesn't seem to care what the price is.

King David wrote: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

This makes a nice song for church – but actually calling on God to test me to my core? Is that really a good idea?

Moses wrote: The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.

As in my other posts this week, I misunderstood myself. I expected some correction, maybe a solid beating. I did not expect to be sent down a long torturous path. I did not expect a piece of my world to be swiftly smashed like a house of cards.

In all this, I still have to follow him. I’m a slave to the living God, regardless of circumstances. I have no choice.

Blessed are the meek and powerless, for they will inherit the earth.

---

God, bless my family and be with them. Forgive them, bless them and pursue them.
Thanks you for all you have done for us. 

Wednesday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Wednesdays: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Initially the seed sits in the ground, powerless to do anything but wait. It's waiting for the environment to support it with the soil, heat, light and water. It will come to "inherit the earth", sprout and grow.

God looks at me and says "Just wait, and don't give up. You will start to grow and good will come of it."

King David said: I remain confident of this:I will see the goodness of the Lord    in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

James said: Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.

I think God looked at the earth on the third day of creation and said "I've created the land, and filled it with plants that will grow and reproduce. This will provide for the beings I'll put there."

---

God, in the midst of grief, I look forward to the future and the good you will do. You are in charge and I'm not. It's hard to for me to wait for good to come - help me to be patient.

God, my biggest hope is that ultimately encouragement and blessing will come to the people we know because of my son's life. I hope that no one rejects or distances themselves from You because of this.

God's will be done

I was thinking a lot today about "God's will be done" (my thoughts on Wednesdays)

In light of what I have been through in the past week, this can seem pretty harsh: God will do what he is going to do, regardless of what we want - just suck it up. Your son is gone, accept it. 

True, God is in charge, but the concept goes way beyond this simple idea. God has the power and influence to do anything He wants, how He wants, and when He wants - but shares some of it with us.

In the creation story, on the third day, He sets the boundaries of the land, making the earth habitable for us. Similarly, for the the third beatitude Jesus teaches "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." What does all this mean to me? I think God has his agenda, but also wants us to be partners in it, with our own influence. He owns the space, and we can do something with it.

So, what can we do? We can put our "stamp" on the tragedy. We can reach out, be transparent, care about others - maybe with eternal influence (By the way, I'm not sure how all this works). I truly believe if we are willing to step up, we can have a hand in making good out of bad. 

Why didn't He use his power to avert this? When I find out, I'll let you know. He didn't stop Cain killing Abel (get rid of the good one, leave the bad one - not the way I would do it), or David killing Uriah, or people killing Jesus, or Adam and Eve eating the fruit, or Israel botching it up lots of times. I don't have the answers on this - just observations: in each case He helped make good out of bad. 

As I'm writing this, the fact that Jesus was raised on the third day comes to mind. God's power over death was demonstrated, so we can inherit eternal life. There are so much alignment in the bible, it gets hard to take it all in.

---

As I got home today, the clouds moved away and I got to look at Mt. Hood for a few minutes before dark. This was one of my favorite places to be with my son.

Wednesday - Weakness and Power

On Wednesday, three ideas come together in my spiritual practice: The third statement in the Lord's Prayer; The third Beatitude; The third day of creation:

- God's in control, and I want that to continue
- I'm powerless, and in need of help
- God orders the earth

---

My influence is in chaos, and God wants to set things right.

The first day is about my heart (the core). The second day is about relationships (the next level). The third day of the week is about power and influence (the final level). All three days focus on being in a state of chaos and want, where God shows up to help and take care of us.

This is a day to consider how I lack the power to make any real changes in my world. I'm "meek" with little influence over my surroundings. God, on the other hand has full power over the earth, and sets up the boundaries on the third day. He creates the "earth" that the "meek will inherit". So God promises that his good influence will eventually come - which I think is the intent of praying "your will be done". If I want to have real power, I need to align myself with his agenda.

Today I pray specifically for my close friends and extended family. I try to thank God for each of these people in my life and ask him to bless them - in whatever form that takes.