Blessed are the poor in spirit

I see the blessings or “beatitudes” as the essence of the rest of the sermon on the mount. I think they contain the core of everything Jesus meant to teach that day.

The first three blessings are for when we are in darkness. The first one is for those whose hearts are in chaos.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.


Blessed are those who are in chaos, those who are lost, those in darkness. Those who hate, gossip, are selfish, abandon their families, lie to get ahead, abuse others, take whats not theirs, murder.

Blessed was Paul the Apostle when he was persecuting the church and having people killed.

Blessed was Peter the Apostle when he denied Jesus.

Blessed was David when he committed adultery with Bathsheba and planned her husband’s murder.

Blessed was Jonah when he ran away from God.

Blessed was Israel while in slavery to Egypt.

Blessed was Job when God pointed him out to Satan as a worthy target.

Blessed was Noah, surrounded by evil.

Blessed were Adam and Eve when they failed the test and ate the fruit.

Blessed was creation, when it was formless and in chaos.

Even blessed was Jesus, born in a cave to an unwed mother. Although fully obedient, looking immoral in that culture.

Finally, blessed am I when I'm filled with doubt, being selfish, and hiding from God.

Blessed are all of us, since God pursues us while we are his enemies - when we hate him, when we want nothing to do with him. We are citizens of his kingdom only because he loves us.

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Mondays | God is great – I’m in chaos

- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God

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Secret

Jesus said:

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

My confession:

I love to be seen as good, godly, and wise by others. 

I want people to notice the good I do and compliment me – and then I want to respond by “Oh no, I’m not good at all, it’s God in my life.” I’m hoping I get to have my Christian cake and eat it too. 

God just isn't enough for me a lot of the time. It’s not very motivating to do things in secret and only get silence back. I don’t really believe there is has to be a trade-off in only telling him verses telling others too.

Being a “mature Christian”, I like to justify this by telling myself I need to be an example to others. It’s my responsibility. I think I’m insightful enough to know when to set aside the words of Jesus for the sake of “discipleship”. 

I even like the idea of people reading this, thinking “only the most committed practice any sort of confession”. Lucky James wrote: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed – so maybe I can get away with it and still receive some approval from God. I’m only about half sarcastic here…

As David wrote: The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.

I’m lucky there’s forgiveness if I confess.

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Mondays | God is great – I’m in chaos

- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God

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The Shema - Monday

I have been reading through Deuteronomy the past few weeks. Chapter 6 has one of the most quoted passages in the Bible. It’s referred to as the Shema – Hebrew for “Listen”

Listen, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord is one.  

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 

These commands that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  

Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

It speaks of who God is, how we should love him, and how we should fill our lives with what he tells us.

For today, I’m focusing on “Listen, O Israel”

God says, “Listen to me.”

God is willing to talk with us – he is not far off, silent or non-existent. He is near and wants to talk with us. When God communicated with Israel in this passage, they are in the wilderness - they were being punished for earlier foolishness. It doesn't matter, he still wants to talk with them.

The essence of the Gospel – the good news from God – is that he reaches out to us, initiates with us, want to communicate with us, based on his love, not our performance.

When I’m being really honest with myself, I acknowledge that there are things I do well, but there are so many areas where I fall incredibly short. I often ask God why he doesn't just write me off – he’s got to have better options.

Does he want me to do well? Yes, of course. Does he require it to connect with me? No, I can never be good enough.

God, thanks for reaching out to me based on your love, not my performance.

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Mondays | God is great – I’m in chaos

- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God

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Psalm 23 - Monday

If nothing else, King David was a literary genius. He wrote things three thousand years ago that I think about right now. I decided I want to look at various Psalms in the coming months.

For as much as I read the Bible, I haven’t read Psalms very much. They have never resonated with me. Life during the past year has shown me that I can’t just live on the thinking level - I need the feeling one too.

I will start with popular one, the 23rd Psalm…

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

God gives me what I need, takes care of my soul, and shows me where I should go.

The phrase ending phrase “for his name’s sake” is a mystery to me. It’s very similar to the beginning of the Lord’s prayer below: “your name is holy”. What is it about God’s name that is so important? When Moses asked God what his name is, he replied, “My name is ‘I am who I am’”. There is so much writing on this topic that it’s more confusing to me than helpful, so I will think of it this way: Gods says that his name is his identity.

I need God. My identity is wrapped up in his identity.

With God, I have what I need in life, not matter where I’m at.

Without God, not matter how good, popular, or successful I am, I don’t have what I really need.
 

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Mondays | God is great – I’m in chaos

- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God

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The Curse - Monday

The Curse in Genesis 3 was God’s response to Adam and Eve’s disobedience – The Fall.

There are a variety of things I have observed in this story. The one that stands out to me the most: The curse was God’s choice - It didn’t happen automatically.

The first curse:

So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”

I can see God saying to the snake, “You tempted them to eat the fruit, so you can eat dirt. You are the most cursed.”

Then he says, “I will create ongoing hostility between you and mankind – you will continue to attack each other.” I think he is telling Satan, “This is your new role. I will use you as part of my plan to harass and test mankind. You will create chaos for them.”

If God didn’t want all this to happen, why did he allow it? My only answer is that’s the way he is. He lets war, famine, crime, abuse, sickness, pain – all kinds of terrible things go on. I believe he is powerful enough to stop all of it right now, but that’s obviously not the way he does things.

Here is part of his plan for saving us:

Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other,and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

The more I read the bible and consider it actually says, the less comfortable I am with it. It’s unsettling.

 

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Mondays | God is great – I’m in chaos

- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God

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The Fall - Monday

It's interesting that the first conversations between God and people in the bible are really negative: The fall of Adam and Eve, and when Cain kills his brother Abel. This occurs right after God said everything he created was very good.

I found some information on "good" used in Genesis - it means functional, complete, works well. Also, the word "evil" in means dysfunctional, works poorly.

I think both these stories represent the exact opposite of what God wants from me. As with my other writing, I'll use the Beatitudes as my lens to look at it this week.

The first test:

Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

... The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

... Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

There are so many interesting things to consider here. These are my top ones:

• Where is God during this conversation? Absent.
• God made the "crafty" serpent.
• The tree God told them not to touch is right in the middle of the garden - not out of the way or fenced off.
• The tree of life is there for the taking and gets ignored.

This is a set-up - a test.

I believe God orchestrated the whole thing, and serpent (Satan) is his agent. God is not the victim of a "crafty devil", as if he were powerless or caught off guard. This testing is obviously his intention. A note - Satan takes on the same role in the testing of Jesus, also in Job. 

Satan tries to convince Eve she is poor, that she's blocked from fruit of the trees in the Garden. If fact, she had everything - including the tree of life - except this one thing. She is rich.

Jesus said in the first Beatitude: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God

I think Satan is saying to her: Cursed are the rich, because there is one thing in God's kingdom you can't have.

I spend a lot of time worrying about what I don't have, rather than what I do have. I think about what's been taken from me far more than I consider what is still mine. It leads to chaos...

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Mondays | My heart is in chaos, and God wants to change it
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God
- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

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Revelation - Letter One

Reading the book of Revelation can be difficult. Its a strange book, filled with all sorts of unfathomable statements - at least for me.

So why write about it?

I maintain that the bible is coherent beginning to end. After listening to some teaching on it and reading it a number of times lately, I think I see a bit of it.

The first Beatitude: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.

The first letter in Revelation (chapter 2)

To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: 

These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lamp-stands. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

I see a warning to good, hard-working, tough people that are trying to serve God: your heart is emptied out, your spirit is poor. If this keeps up, you're not going to make it. Change your course and go back to who you were when you started believing.

Go back to what? What was my "first love"?

For me it was the initial realization that God was there, and he wanted to connect with me. The maker of the universe made himself available to me so we can get to know each other. It filled my mind all the time.

So that's what I aim to do - not take his friendship for granted, not just focus on getting stuff done. I want to invest the time and the energy in continuing to build our relationship.

I think the imagery of Jesus holding the seven stars - the leaders - in his hand, and walking among the seven lampstands - the churches - is to communicate that he is right here among us. He is not far off.

Finally, in many of these letters Jesus says "repent". It sounds ominous - I think its the opposite. I think he is saying "It's OK to come back, I won't hold any mistakes against you."

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Mondays | My heart is in chaos, and God wants to change it
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God
- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

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Romans 12 - Monday

Paul wrote a really long letter to the Christians in Rome. I think his intent was to describe the entire Christian faith as a whole:

    - What is it?
    - How does it work?
    - What are the implications?

For me, chapter 12 is the turning point. Paul shifts from presenting concepts to explaining the implications of following Jesus.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Here is what I think he's saying:

   - God gave up his rights and chose to be merciful to me
   - In the same way I need to give up my rights and be like him - merciful to others
   - The world (the culture) doesn't support this - it will teach the opposite
   - Look to God, his word, his people for input
   - If I do this, I will be doing what God wants

God want's me to be more and more like him as time goes on. The antithesis of this is focusing on my self.

I was created to be fully focused on others.
I spend most of my time focusing on myself - "Incurvatus in se"

Jesus said: For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

I think he is saying, "Be what you were meant to be - look outwards and not inwards and really live."

On Memorial Day, what do I do? I think of those who gave themselves for me and for others. Even without all of this from the bible, I intuitively know that these people deserve my admiration. They are the best humanity has to offer.

Army 1st Lt. Erik. S. McCrae

25, of Portland, Oregon.
McCrae died in Baghdad, Iraq, when individuals using improvised explosive devices and rocket-propelled grenades attacked his convoy. He was assigned to the Army National Guard's 2nd Battalion, 162nd Infantry, Cottage Grove, Oregon. Died on June 4, 2004.

He worked for me before going to Iraq. He was a good man. I will see him in the next life.

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Mondays | My heart is in chaos, and God wants to change it
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God
- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

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The Nature of Jesus - Monday

I'm continually fascinated by Jesus. I guess when God becomes a human being with the intent to connect with us, I should expect no less. I want to spend this week considering who he is.

I'm looking at the first chapter of the gospel written by John and Paul's letter he wrote to the church in Phillippi (eastern Macedonia).

John starts out his account of Jesus with this:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

Everything in the universe was made by him.

Life comes from him.

He is shining in the darkness - into my chaos - and my chaos can't block him out.

Paul wrote:

Jesus, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

Jesus gave up his status, authority, power to enter into the world and serve us - to serve me. Not to judge or condemn me, but to reach out to me, to rescue me.

God, come into my darkness and rescue me.

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Mondays | My heart is in chaos, and God wants to change it
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God
- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

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Courage & Fear

I have been thinking a lot about courage lately. 

Over the past 6 months, I have waves of fear and anxiety that come over me every few days. They last anywhere from a few minutes to hours. It's a sense of dread, failure, guilt and loss of control that floods my mind. It makes me feel nervous and tired. I hate it.

I talk to God about it a lot. I don't anticipate he will take it away - I don't think he works that way. I think he expects me to deal with it, act like a man, and keep going. The pattern in the bible for growth is to face fear, not lose heart and wait for God to do good.

If I give in to this fear, what will happen? I think I will turn inward to focus on myself - my own pain, sadness and sense of loss. I will become useless to my family and friends. I will suck up their energy with my self-absorption. 

St. Augustine coined the phrase "Incurvatus in se", which means "man turned in on himself" as the definition of sin and failure. I can see how this could happen to me. So I'm figuring out how to live with it and still move forward each day. I will not let it control me, God willing.

I like what Paul wrote: Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. For me, it's exactly to the point.

God, help me to overcome my fear and have courage. I want to turn outward to you and others in the midst of all this.

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Mondays | My heart is in chaos, and God wants to change it
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God
- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

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Isaiah - Poor in Spirit

Isaiah finds himself standing in God's temple. It doesn't say how he got there - I'm assuming it's a vision:

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”

At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips.

I think this is the natural and appropriate response if a person is confronted with God himself. God is not someone to have a pleasant conversation with. He is the Lord of everything and terrifying.

The first statement of the Lord's prayer: Isaiah sees a holy God in heaven.

The first statement of the Beatitudes: Isaiah immediately sees he is "poor in spirit" and says "I am ruined."

Tim Keller talks about meeting someone who is way better than you are at something your very good at - it makes you feel small and inadequate. So much more with God, who is all powerful. I am sure I would cry out something in the spirit of "woe is me!"

Why does Isaiah say "I'm a man of unclean lips?" I think it's because he was a prophet. His job was to speak for God. He was hit right where it hurts - his identity.

So I look at myself and I see so many years of saying harsh, inappropriate and unhelpful things. I  have a big problem with exaggeration. Sometimes I lie. All this, while on Sunday mornings I praise God - go figure...

Jesus said: A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

God, what is in my heart? Forgive me for what I've said:
- Harsh words - I'm controlling at times
- Exaggeration - I'm insecure at times
- Lies - I'm afraid at times

God, I want to say and write things that are good. I want a good heart.

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Mondays | My heart is in chaos, and God wants to change it
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God
- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

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One Thousand Sermons

Why is pain such an effective teacher?

Why does it take tragedy and loss to get me to really grow and change?

Why can't I easily learn those critical lessons in my life without misery?

In the terms Jesus used: Why does a seed (me) have to fall to the ground and die to gain fruitfulness?

Lately I have asked a few people if they were better because of past tragedy in their lives - they all said yes. There are others that I have not needed to ask, it was obvious. I have to admit, I think it stinks.

I wish I could learn the big lessons from praying, reading the word, listening to teaching, discussing things with friends. Unfortunately, loosing one of my sons has taught me what a thousand sermons, lessons and discussions could not. At this point, I would much rather be ignorant and have him here - but there is no going backward.

I don't have any robust answers as to why there is so much pain, poverty and suffering in the world. I only know that for good or bad, pain is an effective teacher in my life. I also know I will do my best to avoid further pain - I don't like it.

It's a difficult but consistent message...

In Hebrews: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Moses wrote: Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.

David wrote: Blessed is the one you discipline, Lord, the one you teach from your law.

Jeremiah wrote: Discipline me, Lord, but only in due measure— not in your anger, or you will reduce me to nothing.

In Revelation, Jesus said: Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.

God, I wish I could learn all I needed to without pain. Unfortunately, I can't.

Help me to learn it all and waste nothing.

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Mondays | Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.

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Noah - Poor in Spirit

The story of Noah is a hard one to understand. Once I get past the mental picture of the ark and animals, I realize its a story of great evil, death and a restart of mankind.

All of mankind was poor in spirit:

The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. So the Lord said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created - and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground - for I regret that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.

The story is clear about how bad people were at that time, and that Noah was the only good one.

I'm fascinated that God regretted his decision to make mankind. Some versions say God repented.

I thought God didn't make mistakes, or change his mind, or regret anything. If he knew all that would happen, how did he come to this point, deciding to kill almost everyone?

I think God is not definable. He is, for the most part, unknowable while I'm here on earth. I only see little glimpses that give me clues to how he thinks. To try to bring him down to my level, where he made a bad decision that he tried to fix, is foolish.

I like this quote from Einstein: "I want to know how God created this world. I am not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts; the rest are details."

So I accept that this was the way God decided to work it out. He didn't wipe out everyone, he kept the best seed for planting - Noah. Mankind would survive and  grow.

God, forgive me for all the evil I have done. Thank you for creating me and allowing me to live. I want to know your thoughts, even just a few of them.

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Mondays | Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.

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Miracles - Poor in Spirit

The book of John has seven miracles listed in it. While reading through them a couple of years ago, I realized that they matched the seven beatitudes recorded in the book of Matthew. This was the beginning of my understanding that God works in the same pattern over and over in the Bible.

The first miracle is Jesus changing water into wine:

On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”

“Woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.

Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.

Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine.He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

There a number of interesting things going on here, but I'm going to focus on the people Jesus helped out.

• They ran out of wine. Why?
• They invited too many guests. Why?
• They wanted to look richer than they actually were. Why?
• They were "poor in spirit" - and they over extended themselves.

So Jesus shows up and not only bails these people out of an embarrassing situation, he makes them look look even richer than people already thought. They didn't ask him to - he took the signal from his mom and blessed these people.

I think within God's kingdom, I'm richer than I can imagine. I'm not limited by money or success or anything. I know God shows up and takes care of me, even when I don't ask.

I'm also poor in spirit - I can see myself in this story. I exaggerate the truth to make things look bigger than they are. I'm often not satisfied with the reality I have, so I have to make it better and more interesting. I really want people to think I'm "richer" than I am - thinking that it will make my life better. God, forgive me.

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Mondays | Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.

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Jonah - Poor in Spirit

This week I'm looking at the story of Jonah - the guy who got swallowed by a huge fish. It's kind of an outlandish story, and not just the part being at the bottom of the sea for three days. God interacts with this uncooperative guy in a fairly strange way.

The story starts out by making it really clear that Jonah's heart is not aligned with God's:

The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”

But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

God asks Jonah to do something, and Jonah immediately takes off in the other direction. He doesn't just ignore God, or argue with him. He runs away. These people in Nineveh were the enemies of the Jews.

This story is my story a lot of the time. I know I'm supposed to go to people I don't have a good relationship with, and I avoid it. I know in my head it's God's desire is that I would reach out to my "enemies". But in my heart, they can rot.

God forgive me.

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Mondays | Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.

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2013 - Hope for Morning

Genesis - the first thing in the bible: And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good,and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

Revelation - the last thing in the bible: There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

These are the bookends of creation. I'm not just thinking of the story in Genesis. I'm referring to God creating an entire family, which is what the whole bible is really all about. It's one story - many authors, events and ideas - but a single overriding purpose.

I will always remember the end of 2012 as the darkest of night.

I hope for morning to come in 2013 - that God would bring peace to me and my family.

David wrote: Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

I know we won't be swallowed by the darkness. I know this from what God has revealed and what I have experienced.

John wrote about Jesus: In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I look forward to "no more night".

Paul wrote: And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

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God, please bring the morning. I trust you will.

Monday - God is Holy

I was going to take the week and look at Exodus, but I'm finding I want to write more about personal things, rather than just ideas about God.

A friend of mine called me today - we have known each other since grade school. As we were taking about Caleb, he said "I'm glad you're walking with God through this".

So am I.

Where else can I go? I don't see any other viable road to go down.

I have noticed a pattern all over the bible: when God takes someone to a new place, He often says "Quit wanting to go back there, there's no turning around." So I will trust Him and see where this road leads.

So for Monday - the first statement of the Lord's Prayer: God in heaven, your name is holy. 

God being the ultimate standard of goodness gives me confidence.

Jesus - Poor in Spirit

As Christmas is coming in just over a week, I want to look at some things in the life of Jesus for the next seven days. As with all almost all of the posts, I will follow my weekly pattern of the Beatitudes.

Monday: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Were Joseph, Mary and Jesus “poor in spirit”? No, the bible makes it clear that they were rich in their spirits:

     Mary: But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. 

     Joseph: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. 

     Jesus: She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins. 

All three were good people, and did what was pleasing to God.

But to the outside world, they looked bankrupt: He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

     Mary is pregnant – she and Joseph are not married.

     They can’t find any place that would take them in to have a baby 

     Jesus is born in a cave with animals - unclean in that culture

From the outside they looked really immoral. So God starts them out with the appearance of being “poor in spirit”. Most likely, the family lived with the stigma of this for the rest of their lives.

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God, thank you for faithful people like Mary and Joseph. They were willing to trade their reputations to do the good you asked them to do. I hope I can follow their example.

Falling off an Iceberg

Last week a friend of mine was telling me about his wife's experience in a grief class. He made the comment, "They make it clear in the class that the length and amount of grief over someone dying is not a measure of faith. It's a complicated process, and the last thing people need is to feel guilty if it's going slower than they feel it should."

As I was telling him how I could now understand it after this past month, it immediately became clear to me how much damage I had done to Becky, my wife. I was horrified.

Becky's mentor of over 15 years had passed away a few years ago. After a very short period of time, I told her that she should rely on her faith and not grieve so much. At this time I was sure I was "speaking the truth". 

After thinking about it, I knew that I had made a mistake, but I had no clue how wrong I was. I only saw the tip of the iceberg. Now I know the real hurt I caused. What an idiot. 

My own pain cleared my mind. I fell off the iceberg, into the freezing water, and I saw how big it was underneath. As soon as I could, I told Becky how sorry I was and asked for her forgiveness.

CS Lewis: “Nothing will shake a man - or at any rate a man like me - out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself.” ― A Grief Observed

These are not the kind of revelations about myself I look forward to having. The wilderness and captivity are really painful, but it's where God sends people to get them to repent.

Jesus said: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

John said: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

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God, forgive me. I need to repent.

Monday - Mustard Seed

Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”

Mondays: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

That single seed  in it's present state is not 100% worthless, but pretty close. It can't do anything until someone comes along to plant it. I guess you could eat it - not much food or flavor there.

God has looked at me and seen me this way, but he says to me "You're blessed. You're lucky. Regardless of your current state, you have a future."

I think God looked at the earth on the first day of creation and said, "you're formless and void, but you have a future."

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God, these last four weeks have been the hardest of my life. In some ways, it feels like years since Caleb died. In other ways it seems like hours. Time is all screwed up for me right now - it's hard to keep my bearings straight.

God, forgive me for all I've done wrong and for everything I've missed. I need you.