The Hole

C.S. Lewis: “Aren't all these notes the senseless writings of a man who won't accept the fact that there is nothing we can do with suffering except to suffer it?” ― A Grief Observed

Lewis hits the nail on the head. There is this huge hole that has been opened up, and I really want to fill it. I’m hungry for meaning and sense and a remedy for the pain. I’m trying to take the right action:

Being with my family

Meeting with friends

Reading the word

Talking to God

Trying to focus on someone else’s needs

Going out alone and crying for my loss

Writing this blog

None of it fills the void. There is nothing to do but endure it.

There are still a lot of good things in my life – many more good than bad. It’s easy for me to get overwhelmed and forget all the kindness, friendship and compassion I see every single day. 

I’m still amazed myself: Unless I work really hard, I forget there are billions of people on God’s agenda, every single one as important and I am. I keep thinking that my pain is at the top of His global priority list - which is not the case. So I will wait.

Jesus said: Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

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God, thanks for all the people in my life. Thanks for the goodness they bring to me. I hope I can do the same for them.