C.S. Lewis: “Not that I am in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not 'So there's no God after all,' but 'So this is what God's really like. Deceive yourself no longer.” ― A Grief Observed I have come to the conclusion, I no longer fear dying – I fear the God who holds life and death in his hands. By fear, I don’t mean respect. I mean I’m afraid of Him. He will give and take what He wants, when He wants, and how He wants, regardless of my hopes and plans.
He is the God who chose to put the curse on us.The most terrifying thing of all: He allows me to damage and scar others, and live with the results of my failures. A self-inflicted wound is one thing, but wounding others is horrifying.
He is the God who stood by and watched Cain kill Abel.
He allows neglect, murder, war, earthquakes, slavery, genocide.
He destroys his enemies and condemns them to hell.
He is the God that demands blood and death to accept me. He won’t forgive without it.
If at this point you are looking for me to close the loop with a focus on God’s grace, look elsewhere. I have plenty of that in my other posts.
It’s hard to love a God that scares me to death, so I have blocked out the parts I don’t like. I have made God in my own image. I have reduced Him to down to what I want, so I’m forced to cast him as a victim who watches on with no power to act when trouble comes – then shows up to comfort everyone. He has all the power in the universe to act, and He chooses when to do so, and when not to.
Moses wrote: And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the LORD displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.
King David wrote: Serve the Lord with fear and celebrate his rule with trembling.
Jesus said: I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.
Obviously fear is not the only way to approach God, but it's a significant part of the equation.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
God, help me to see you truly as you are.
Which honestly, makes the cross all that more mind blowing! That I might be reconciled! Wow! Thanks for this post!
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