Caleb's Birthday

What do I write on a day like this, on the birthday of my son, Caleb, I lost almost 10 months ago?

I'm not sure. There are too many things to consider. I guess I don't have to write everything today, but I do want to capture my memories of Caleb - I worry I will loose some of them if I don't. I think I'm coming to the point sometime soon where I can start.

For today, for me, I want to remember my weekly prayer to God for my family...

God,

Bless my kids - Josh, Sam and Nathan. Bless Becky. They belong to you. Reach out to them, show them you love them. 

Forgive them where they have made mistakes. Take the burden of sin off of them - free them from it. Forgive because of your love and mercy, not because of anything they have done. Forgive them by grace, even when they can't ask for it.

My greatest desire is that they will connect with you in this life and for eternity. Connect with them, show them life - the life will be far beyond anything they can imagine.

I would give my own eternal life for theirs, if it were possible. Help me to give my life today for them, to do whatever I can to love them, encourage them and build them up. Help me to be kind and forgiving. I fail often - give me the strength to not give up - to keep going.

Thank you for Caleb being in our family, even though the time was too short. I will miss him every day of my life here. If possible, tell him I love him, care about him and miss him. He sees you clearly as you are.

We have been damaged as a family - I hope somehow good comes of it. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.

Happy birthday Caleb. I miss you.

You always loved your birthday and getting presents, but I can't give you any that are wrapped up today. I can only tell you I love you.

Love, Dad