Isaiah - Poor in Spirit

Isaiah finds himself standing in God's temple. It doesn't say how he got there - I'm assuming it's a vision:

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”

At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips.

I think this is the natural and appropriate response if a person is confronted with God himself. God is not someone to have a pleasant conversation with. He is the Lord of everything and terrifying.

The first statement of the Lord's prayer: Isaiah sees a holy God in heaven.

The first statement of the Beatitudes: Isaiah immediately sees he is "poor in spirit" and says "I am ruined."

Tim Keller talks about meeting someone who is way better than you are at something your very good at - it makes you feel small and inadequate. So much more with God, who is all powerful. I am sure I would cry out something in the spirit of "woe is me!"

Why does Isaiah say "I'm a man of unclean lips?" I think it's because he was a prophet. His job was to speak for God. He was hit right where it hurts - his identity.

So I look at myself and I see so many years of saying harsh, inappropriate and unhelpful things. I  have a big problem with exaggeration. Sometimes I lie. All this, while on Sunday mornings I praise God - go figure...

Jesus said: A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

God, what is in my heart? Forgive me for what I've said:
- Harsh words - I'm controlling at times
- Exaggeration - I'm insecure at times
- Lies - I'm afraid at times

God, I want to say and write things that are good. I want a good heart.

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Mondays | My heart is in chaos, and God wants to change it
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God
- Our Father in heaven, your name is holy

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Strength

My last post was on my weakness, and God telling me how that was going to fit into my life. To keep things in perspective, I'm considering where I can gain strength.

One of my favorite authors over the years has been A.W. Tozer: The Holy Scriptures tell us what we could never learn any other way: they tell us what we are, who we are, how we got here, why we are here, and what we are required to do while we remain here.

There are all kinds of opinions on the bible - it's origins, authenticity, applicability - none of those matter to me. 

In that book, I find strength

In that book, I find life

In that book, I find God himself

The more I read it, the more I'm compelled to read it. It's like that knothole in the fence between me and eternity - Right now, I can't go over there, but I can peek through and see just a bit of it.

It's the only thing I read that really makes sense to me as I struggle with my own grief and questions about life.

King David wrote something that really resonates with me at present:

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

God, you are my strength forever. Keep me from loosing heart.

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Saturdays | Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

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Weakness

This past year, I have been talking to God regularly. Prayer is hard for me at times, but I've been sticking to my weekly routine.

This is a very interesting and difficult to understand passage written by Paul on prayer:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

If I get this right, God prays for me to himself on my behalf. What good does that do? Seems strange to me - illogical.

I looked up "intercede" this week: to intervene between parties with a view to reconciling differences.

With this idea, it makes much more sense. I think it means that God takes responsibility to bring us together where I'm too weak to pursue it. I guess I just need to be willing to talk to him.

So God made it clear to me this weekend, he wants me to make kindness the top priority in all I do. This is one of my biggest weaknesses, as I wrote about weeks ago. He basically told me that if I practice kindness, I will be fruitful, and if I don't I won't. So all the things I'm good at won't lead to anything, and the thing I'm bad at will lead to results.

When my mind opened this weekend and I saw this new situation, my initial response was "God, you've got to be kidding. Can't it be something else? This is a joke. You know it's hard for me." I can see working at it with my family, but everywhere? It's overwhelming.

I guess there really is no surprise here. Paul wrote about his own struggles, and God's response to them: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

God, I'm at a loss for words.

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Sundays | Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

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Comfort?

I'm not the best guy at comforting others. In fact, I'm really not good at it at all. Today, I tried my best.

A guy I'm working with here in Holland was late coming in to the office today. He told me that he was with his wife in the hospital - she is going to die fairly soon from cancer.

I told him I knew something about death, but I couldn't really know what he was going through with his wife. He said he had heard what had happened to my son.

I told him it sucks, and that I was sorry.

I told him that we both had entered new worlds that are hard to navigate, and there is no way out.

I asked him if he had kids. He said he has four, all in their early twenties. I told him much of my worry was about my kids and how they are doing.

I asked him how he was handling it and how his wife was doing. He said they had come to accept what was happening and were working hard to talk about it and support each other. He said his wife was starting to write things down. I told him I was doing that as well.

He told me quite a bit about what he was going through, and he wanted to know how I was doing as well.

I had nothing upbeat or positive to offer. It didn't seem appropriate.

I did tell him he would survive. Like me, he has no choice - people depend on him. That was my big moment of encouragement.

I wonder how I did at giving him some small bit of comfort. My goal was to treat him as I have wanted to be treated, with honesty and genuine interest. I guess I will see how it goes.

God, take care of him, his wife and his family. Give them comfort in the midst of tragedy.

As I started to write this, I thought "Oh yeah, it's Tuesday..."

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Tuesdays | Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

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