Forgiveness, Again

C.S. Lewis: The real trouble about the duty of forgiveness is that you do it with all your might on Monday and then find on Wednesday that it hasn't stayed put and all has to be done over again.

For me forgiveness isn't an event - it's a practice, a discipline, a religious routine.

At the core of my need to continually do it, is the realization that without focus and care, my soul is constantly subject to decay. Anything I achieved in my spiritual life yesterday is just that - in the past. Jesus said each day has enough trouble of its own - I'm finding that to be true at many levels.

St. John Chrysostom: Nothing makes us so God-like as our willingness to forgive.

Jesus was really blunt about the requirement to forgive: For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

I've posted about this before. I regularly think and pray about it. It makes me unsettled, even anxious sometimes - which may have been Jesus intent...

Matthew Chapter 18

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Rather than try to explain away the teaching of Jesus, I hope to continue to struggle with it, and embrace it.

I hope to always forgive as He forgave me.