My God, why have you forsaken me?

While on the cross, Jesus cried out: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? 

In other words:

Where are you?
Why have you left me?
Why have you abandoned me?

I think for those who followed Jesus, this could have been the most terrifying and sad thing he could have said. I can imagine them thinking:

Was he just a man after all - not God?
Was he crumbling in midst of pain and death?
Have I put my faith in nothing, a lie?

To yell this out seems very out of character for Jesus. Up this point, he was resolute about going to the cross to die. I would expect that he would at least say it silently to himself in his agony. 

He made sure people heard it.

One thousand years before, King David wrote a number of songs that the Jews sang during the time of Jesus. One of those songs (Psalm 22) starts this way: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? 

It describes the crucifixion of Jesus, and states that God is in control. It says people from all over the earth will turn to Him...

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest

Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the one Israel praises.
In you our ancestors put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them.
To you they cried out and were saved; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by everyone, despised by the people.
All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads.
“He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.”

Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.
From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.

Many bulls surround me; strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.
Roaring lions that tear their prey open their mouths wide against me.
I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me.
My mouth is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; you lay me in the dust of death.

Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me; they pierce my hands and my feet.
All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me.
They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.

But you, Lord, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
Deliver me from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dogs.
Rescue me from the mouth of the lions; save me from the horns of the wild oxen.

I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you.
You who fear the Lord, praise him! All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!
For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you I will fulfill my vows.
The poor will eat and be satisfied; those who seek the Lord will praise him - may your hearts live forever!

All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations
will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the Lord and he rules over the nations.

All the rich of the earth will feast and worship; all who go down to the dust will kneel before him - those who cannot keep themselves alive.
Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord.
They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn:
He has done it!

If I were there, maybe hiding nearby like one of the disciples, I would hope to hear something that would reassure me in my doubt. Jesus crying out the start of this song would prompt me to remember the rest of it: This is was the way things were supposed to happen, and people had been singing about it for a thousand years.

It's very easy for me to question my faith - I often do. I think God expects that, and he provides things like this to reassure me that I'm not a fool.

He has done it!

Life is too Long

I often say to myself that life is too short...

Too short to let small or trivial things affect me. 

Too short not to spend time with people I care about.

Too short not to do the right thing when I see it. 

Too short not to spend time alone with God.

It struck me this week that life is not too short - it's too long.

Life is infinitely big and long and important. C. S. Lewis said:

Christianity asserts that every individual human being is going to live for ever, and this must be either true or false. Now there are a good many things which would not be worth bothering about if I were going to live only seventy years, but which I had better bother about very seriously if I am going to live for ever.

When Jesus was talking about being generous, he said:

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I think he is saying, "Life's not short, life's long. Live like it's forever."

Believing in a short life leads me to focus on whatever I can do or experience now. The "bucket list" fad seems to be an artifact of the belief in a brief existence. I believe in a long existence - infinitely long.

Jesus told a parable that's actually a bit disturbing, where he commends cheating now to gain a better destiny. It's starting to make a bit more sense to me...

Jesus told his disciples: “There was a rich man whose manager was accused of wasting his possessions. So he called him in and asked him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your management, because you cannot be manager any longer.’

“The manager said to himself, ‘What shall I do now? My master is taking away my job. I’m not strong enough to dig, and I’m ashamed to beg - I know what I’ll do so that, when I lose my job here, people will welcome me into their houses.’

“So he called in each one of his master’s debtors. He asked the first, ‘How much do you owe my master?’

“‘Nine hundred gallons of olive oil,’ he replied.

“The manager told him, ‘Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it four hundred and fifty.’

“Then he asked the second, ‘And how much do you owe?’

“‘A thousand bushels of wheat,’ he replied.

“He told him, ‘Take your bill and make it eight hundred.’

“The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others, but God knows your hearts. What people value highly is detestable in God’s sight.

Life is too long...

Too long to let small or trivial things affect me. 

Too long not to spend time with people I care about.

Too long not to do the right thing when I see it. 

Too long not to spend time alone with God.

Loyalty

A friend of mine left his wife recently. It's a terrible thing - for her, for the kids, for him. It's a slow-motion train wreck that I have watched happen, and I seem powerless to help stop it.

I'm not here to diagnose why it happened or suggest a way to resolve it. Those kind of topics are way out of my league.

I'm trying to understand my obligation to him, to God, to myself.

What does my friend want from me?

He seems to be OK with me praying for him and sending him notes once in a while. He's not interested in meeting face-to-face. I can't tell if he want's me to continue or stop. I don't know if he can articulate it.

So, if you are reading this, and you are my friend, and you are a married, I would appreciate you providing some clear instruction on what you want me to do if you choose to leave your spouse in the future. I'm asking you to write it down or tell me before you head down that path. If not me, consider confiding in someone else.

If you send something to me, I will keep it, and I promise to follow-up on it. I will be loyal - and I will honor your request:

- To be left alone
- To be listened to and understood
- To be pursued

---

I would like to think I'm the guy that would never leave. Unfortunately, I've come to the point where I realize I'm at much at risk as anyone else. I've spent many years considering myself better than others - not very smart.

So here is what I want...

Pray for me, that I would be faithful. Remind me of it from time to time.

If you sense something isn't "right", be quick to ask me what's going on. Don't think "something isn't right" and fail to say something. Ask me questions that get to my heart. If I answer with surface, theoretical, theological - whatever dodge I come up with - don't accept it. Keep digging.

If I say I'm thinking about leaving - pursue me. If I ask to be left alone, don't do it. Don't give up on me. Gang up on me.

If I finally do leave - side with my wife, side with my kids. Stick this post in my face. Remind me of how this is hurting a wide range of people. Acknowledge my misery and if possible, make it worse.

Remind me of God's grace and forgiveness - extend it to me. Beg me to repent. If I do, forgive me and help me put it all back together.

Love me enough to never give up on me. Please be loyal to me.

We are all in the same boat, in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty. - G.K. Chesterton