House of Cards

C.S. Lewis: “God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.” -  A Grief Observed

I’m discovering who God is, at least in a small way: He demands my honesty – and he doesn't seem to care what the price is.

King David wrote: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

This makes a nice song for church – but actually calling on God to test me to my core? Is that really a good idea?

Moses wrote: The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.

As in my other posts this week, I misunderstood myself. I expected some correction, maybe a solid beating. I did not expect to be sent down a long torturous path. I did not expect a piece of my world to be swiftly smashed like a house of cards.

In all this, I still have to follow him. I’m a slave to the living God, regardless of circumstances. I have no choice.

Blessed are the meek and powerless, for they will inherit the earth.

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God, bless my family and be with them. Forgive them, bless them and pursue them.
Thanks you for all you have done for us.