Train Wreck

C.S. Lewis: “We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn,' and I accept it. I've got nothing that I hadn't bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.” ― A Grief Observed

I have been under a false assumption my whole adult life: God is here to protect me from trouble. To be perfectly honest, I thought train-wrecks were for other people, not for me. Somewhere inside of me, I genuinely thought I was special, and God would skip that stuff in my life. I know – it sounds pretty bad to come out and say it.

Jesus told his followers that trouble was coming, and that he was going to die. He concluded by saying: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Paul said: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

I know people who gave up on God when trouble came. I also know people who dug in and got closer. Now that I’m here, I can see it’s purely a decision I need to make myself. God is leaving it up to me. That’s why it’s called “testing”. I hope I accept His comfort, and I can be fit to help others.

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God, I apologize for thinking I was somehow better than the rest of the world. I’m not.