All week I have thought about kindness: how important it is, how I admire it others, and how I have often lacked it.
I would give a year – no, five years – of my life to have ten minutes face-to-face with my son Caleb today. What would I hope to convey in those few minutes? Kindness. I would aim to only express my love and appreciation to him for being my son. I pray I wouldn't waste it on questions of “why” or my own feelings of hurt and loss. My own concerns now seem like garbage compared to the opportunity to show love and kindness.
With that thought in mind, how should I act towards Becky, Josh, Samantha and Nathan who are here with me right now? It’s easy for me to think about the idyllic bargain, to see the son who has died one last time in this life and convey a message from my heart. It’s hard to think beyond that to how I will live every day in reality, not fantasy.
When I think of the people I have known, there are many great attributes that come to mind: skill, intelligence, diligence, humor, leadership, faith, generosity, honesty. As I have thought about these people, the one trait that rises to top each time is kindness. How kind are they? How much do they give of themselves? Do the people around them feel loved, appreciated and respected?
These are new thoughts for me. I have not spent my life working towards being thought of as kind. I have tried to be seen as focused, intelligent, hard-working, funny, a good friend, faithful to my family, committed to God – but never kind.
It’s not that I haven’t been kind at times, but I have always thought of kindness as a commodity to be traded in the pursuit of these other things. When Caleb died, part of me died – and now in a sense, that part of me must be born again into something new. I think God wants it born into kindness. It’s one of the main qualities that people have spoken of and wrote about regarding Caleb, so it’s fitting that I need to grow into it and carry it on.
Paul said: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
I need to start with my family. I want to have that “last conversation” of love and kindness daily with them, for as long we are together.
Fridays | Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
When I think of the people I have known, there are many great attributes that come to mind: skill, intelligence, diligence, humor, leadership, faith, generosity, honesty. As I have thought about these people, the one trait that rises to top each time is kindness. How kind are they? How much do they give of themselves? Do the people around them feel loved, appreciated and respected?
These are new thoughts for me. I have not spent my life working towards being thought of as kind. I have tried to be seen as focused, intelligent, hard-working, funny, a good friend, faithful to my family, committed to God – but never kind.
It’s not that I haven’t been kind at times, but I have always thought of kindness as a commodity to be traded in the pursuit of these other things. When Caleb died, part of me died – and now in a sense, that part of me must be born again into something new. I think God wants it born into kindness. It’s one of the main qualities that people have spoken of and wrote about regarding Caleb, so it’s fitting that I need to grow into it and carry it on.
Paul said: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
I need to start with my family. I want to have that “last conversation” of love and kindness daily with them, for as long we are together.
Fridays | Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
